YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE!

I heard about this elderly woman who attended a church service one Sunday morning. On getting to the Church, one of the ushers came to her excitedly, and led her to a seat not very far from the front row. The following conversation later ensued between the usher and the elderly woman.

Usher: This is a very good place mam; I believe you’ll like it. Please do enjoy the service!

Elderly woman: (Unimpressed) Excuse me my daughter, but I don’t like this place! I want to sit in the front row, beside the pastor.

Usher: (Laughing) But, Mam that is not possible! The front row is specifically reserved for the Pastor, his family, and certain elders of the church. Not for people like you!

Elderly woman: Miss Usher, do you by any chance, know who I am?

Usher: No mam; I don’t!

Elderly woman: Well, I am the Pastor’s mother; a very senior member of his family!

Usher: (Now very fidgety) Mam, do you by any chance know who I am?

Elderly woman: No, I don’t. And I don’t think I have seen you before either!

Usher: (Elated) Thank God for that! (Then she took to her heals, and disappeared from the vicinity).

Did I hear you say why? Well, your Guess is as good as mine!

*Attention please: This joke is only meant to brighten your day; it has nothing to do with religion. Thank you.

Dr Adedayo Stoney Adegbulu is the author of About God! Undeniable Facts & Testimonies

 

I HAVE CHANGED MY WILL THREE TIMES!

I heard about this elderly man whose hearing had failed significantly. As a result, he went to see his doctor who then fitted him with the latest high tech hearing aid in the market.

Two weeks later, he went back for check-up, and it was discovered that his hearing had improved a great deal, such that he could hear virtually every sound perfectly. The Doctor was very happy for him, and the following conversation ensued between them.

Doctor: Mr Tom, I am very happy for you, now, you can hear a lot better than before. I am sure your people must be very happy for you too.

Mr Tom: I haven’t told any of them yet!

Doctor: But why Mr Tom? I thought you will be eager to tell them so that they can share in your joy.

Mr Tom: Don’t worry Doctor, I will tell them when I am ready. But for now, I just seat down quietly among them, and listen to their conversations. And since I started doing this, I have changed my will three times!

*Attention please: This joke is only meant to brighten your day; it has nothing to do with religion. Thank you.

Dr Adedayo Stoney Adegbulu is the author of About God! Undeniable Facts & Testimonies

YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE?

A beloved Sister shared this joke with me some time ago, and I have taken the liberty to change it to a conversation format, and give it a title. I will now share it with you for your enjoyment. Happy reading!

A gang of armed robbers invaded a Christian Brother’s house one night. They were high on drugs; loud and unruly. No doubt, they came to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). But on entering the house, they met the Brother praying, and they asked him to round up quickly. He eventually did, and the following conversation later ensued between him and the gang leader.

Gang Leader: Mr Man, so you have finally decided to pay attention to us (he was visibly angry!).

Brother: Sorry Sir!

Gang Leader: Do you realize we are armed robbers?

Brother: Ah, I am in trouble, please don’t kill me!

Gang Leader: Shut up! All we want is your money, or your life.

Brother: Sorry Sir, I have neither! I released the last money on me as offering in church last Sunday.  And as regards my life, it is no longer mine, since I gave it to Jesus Christ two weeks ago when I became born again. Please have mercy on me!

The armed robbers busted out laughing on hearing the Brother’s remarks. There and then, their leader said: Gentlemen, this is an unserious comedian; let’s leave him before he infests us with his un-seriousness.

Immediately, they ran out of the Brother’s room, jumped over the fence, and melted into the darkness, still high on drugs, but laughing uncontrollably.

N.B. My take on the joke is embedded in 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NKJV). That is:

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it’’.

*Attention please: This joke is only meant to brighten your day; it has nothing to do with religion. Thank you.

Dr Adedayo Stoney Adegbulu is the author of About God! Undeniable Facts & Testimonies

Pot Calling The Kettle Black!

I heard about this meeting, which was presided over by a famous and well respected Pastor. It was called to acquaint him with the new converts in his church, one of which was a business man in the locality! Immediately he (the businessman) saw the other converts, he became very uncomfortable, and confronted the Pastor as follows:

Businessman: Pastor, I find it difficult to believe that you called this meeting, and allowed this sort of people to be in attendance. What is the Christian world turning into?

Pastor: How do you mean sir?

Businessman: Pastor, can’t you see that unlike me, these guys are notorious sinners; thieves, looters, murderers, adulterers, kidnappers, ritualists, gun runners, militants, etc.? And if I may ask, why are they so quiet? Is it because they are ashamed of their legendary sins?

Pastor: Excuse me sir, who they were, is no more important, who they are now, is. For your information, they are now children of the most high God, whose sins he has forgiven. And as to why they are quiet, well they are in shock, because they never expected someone like you to be in a gathering like this!

N.B. My take on the joke is embedded in Ephesians 2:8-9 (NKJV). That is:

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast’’.

*Attention please: This joke is only meant to brighten your day; it has nothing to do with religion. Thank you.

Dr Adedayo Stoney Adegbulu is the author of About God! Undeniable Facts & Testimonies

Go Out For Fresh Air!

This joke was posted by my brother and cousin, Akinwale Akingbade. I am reproducing it here with his permission, and I have taken the liberty to give it a title, and tweak it a bit for your enjoyment. Happy reading and God bless.

A pilot was transporting some mentally challenged patients from Lagos Nigeria, to a psychiatric facility in Johannesburg, South Africa. Along the way, the patients became very noisy, restless, and uncontrollable, and the cabin crew became justifiably worried.

Suddenly, one of the patients stormed into the Pilot’s cockpit, and the following conversation ensued between himself and the Pilot.

Patient: Teach me how to fly this plane right now!

Pilot: OK, I will, but under one condition.

Patient: And what is it?

Pilot: You have to control your friends, and get them to keep quiet.

The patient looked at the Pilot intently, as if he was calculating his next line of action. Then all of a sudden, he left the cabin, ran to his friends, and had an inaudible conversation with them. About five minutes later, he came back to the Pilot, who by then had noticed that the plane had become unbelievably quiet! Then, they resumed their conversation as follows:

Pilot: Wow! Your friends are very quiet now; how did you accomplish this great feat?

Patient: Very easy! I just opened a door, and asked them to go out for some fresh air!

*Attention please: This joke is only meant to brighten your day; it has nothing to do with religion. Thank you.

Dr Adedayo Stoney Adegbulu is the author of About God! Undeniable Facts & Testimonies

Birds Of The Same Feather…!

This joke was sent to me some years ago, by my brother and friend, Akinleye Akinseye, Barrister at Law. I have taken the liberty to give it a title, and convert it into a conversation format for your enjoyment. Happy reading and God bless.

Duncan: Wonders will never cease, you know?

Prince: What is eating you up again Duncan?

Duncan: You know I went to church yesterday?

Prince: Yes, I know you did. And what has that got to do with wonders will never cease?

Duncan: Please lower your voice! Can you imagine that while I was listening to the sermon in the church, the man beside me brought out a stick of cigarette, lit, and started smoking it?

Prince: You must be kidding me. Are you sure of what you have just said?

Duncan: Of course I am sure.

Prince: So what did you do?

Duncan: Well, I was so stunned, and so angry with him, that I dropped the bottle of beer in my hand.

Prince: Look at your life! You should be ashamed of yourself for messing up in church; birds of the same feather…!

*Attention please: This joke is only meant to brighten your day; it has nothing to do with religion. Thank you.

Dr Adedayo Stoney Adegbulu is the author of About God! Undeniable Facts & Testimonies

 

The Chicken Was Tasty!

I heard about these three brothers who left home, and went out to prosper elsewhere. Some years afterwards, they got back together and discussed the gifts they gave their mother. The first one said I built mum a big house. The second said I bought her an elegant car. The third said since mum likes to read the bible, but can hardly see, I bought her a specially trained PARROT that can quote the bible from Genesis to Revelation effortlessly. He said it will be an invaluable asset to her. They all congratulated each other for their successes, and kindness to their mother.

After a short time, their mother wrote them a letter. In it, she said: Peter, the house you built for me is far too big; Paul, the car you bought for me is far too small. But Phillip, my lovely son, your simple gift was my favourite, the CHICKEN was tasty.

*Attention please: This joke is only meant to brighten your day; it has nothing to do with religion. Thank you.

Dr Adedayo Stoney Adegbulu is the author of About God! Undeniable Facts & Testimonies